“Sober Joy” Supplement

Mocktail Recipe by David Barth (age 10):

1. Pour a big but not too small amount of Sprite into a glass. 

2. Add some non-alcoholic Blue Curacao, a little bit of strawberry syrup and some lemon juice. 

3. Enjoy!

Some sober jokes from my first ever stand-up comedy set:

I find the economics of sobriety fascinating. 

What goes on when you get sober is that now you go out and give your money to the bartender and you get not-the-product. 

For those who don’t know, mocktails are cocktails, but hold the alcohol. 

It’s $15 juice.

But I’m not mad. 

Because this has liberated me from all the guilt I’ve always felt about how much money I just lit on fire while I was drinking. 

Turns out, I wasn’t spending that money on alcohol…I was spending it on limes. 

I wasn’t drinking…I was preventing scurvy! 

That’s basically a wellness program…for pirates. That’s probably why rum and Cokes always come with limes, really.

I’m also not mad about the whole giving money for nothing in return. 

It’s not like this only happens to non-drinkers. It’s happening to all of us…all the time. 

Think about it: Health insurance.